Free Thinking and the Logic of Loyalty in the Two-Party State

A satirical opinion piece for Oregon's Lake Oswego Review by local high school student Parker Angelus exposes the absurdity and superficiality of the reactionary ideology that sustains the ruling two-party state and duopoly system of government:
This rigid belief system, carefully crafted and handed down from generation to generation, is set in place by the order of the almighty overlord of your choice – the elephant or the donkey.

Let’s say you choose the donkey: It means that you must vote for whomever represents the likeness of donkey in the upcoming election – no exceptions. Disregard any conflicting viewpoints you may have with this well-groomed “candidate,” you chose to lead the life of a Democrat, sealing in this vote and all of your votes of the future, too. By becoming attached to a political party, you’ve taken a bold step into becoming a freely-thinking individual.

Here’s the deal: It’s of the utmost importance that you vote. Even if your decision is made with poor reasoning, adhere to the two-party system at all costs.

Let’s say you don’t like a Republican candidate (here’s where the proverbial lightbulb should be going off in your head – think vindictiveness). Since you highly disagree with the viewpoints of one party, it only makes sense to vote for the opposing one out of spite. After all, you only have two options, so voting for the party that you dislike the least seems like a sound compromise. It shows a complex thought process when one votes for someone by default.

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